Romans 6

I've been slowly making my way through Romans. And I do mean slowly. So right now, I'm finishing up chapter 6. Paul is pretty much the ultimate letter writer. I mean, I write letters, but wow! he is beyond words. Anyways, one of the really cool things in chapter 6 is the fact that it's talking about slavery. That might sound kind of weird, but this is slavery to sin and it's also slavery to God. Of course, there are some differences here. First of all, slavery to sin is our basic interpretation of the word slavery. We are stuck in bondage to something awful and it is truly detrimental to our lives. We can only escape this slavery by being freed by someone (or Someone) other than ourselves. Here's where the cool part comes in...God frees us and then, Paul says we are slaves to Christ. First thought, wait a minute...slaves??? Yes, slaves, but this slavery is similar to Paul's use of the word "bondservant." This servant chooses, willingly, to serve his master for the rest of his life. So, we choose to be slaves to Christ. We choose to serve Him for the rest of our days. We choose to obey Him. We choose to praise Him. In effect, we are choosing to chain ourselves again, but we chain ourselves to God and those are chains of love, not of pain. And God does not hold us back, these chains lift us up and hold us up and give us strength. Reading this, I never thought slavery and chains could be used as a good analogy for my relationship with God, but then I remembered the meaning of the word bondservant and what I choose to do every day because of my faith and relationship with Christ. Praise God for His love and His wisdom! :)

a poem

The Moment of Truth

I'm standing before You
I know I need You
I've come to kneel
I need to feel
It's the moment of truth

In this moment
I see You
in all Your glory
in all Your power
You inspire
I aspire
to You
it is the moment
the moment of truth

I never knew
just how much
You love me
I want Your touch
it's the moment of truth

In this moment
I see You
in all Your glory
in all Your power
You inspire
I aspire
to You
it is the moment
the moment of truth

I fall to my knees
I cry out Your name
I want You in my heart
I'll never be the same
it's the moment of truth

In this moment
I see You
in all Your glory
in all Your power
You inspire
I aspire
to You
it is the moment
the moment of truth

Oh Lord, it is the moment
it is the moment
the moment of truth

The most precious things
are gone away
when I pray
in the moment of truth

Oh Lord, it is the moment
it is the moment
the moment of truth

It is the moment
the moment of truth

Thank You Lord
for this moment
this moment of truth.

So, it's been awhile. I've been pretty busy with classes. Lesson plans, readings, papers, all sorts of stuff. This weekend, I have research. yay. Actually, it shouldn't be too bad. It's just not really what I want to spend my weekend doing, because it means I won't be at Aletheia again. I feel like I've only been able to be in the service a couple of times. AHHH. Anyways, an update on Maxie. She's getting bigger. and the cool thing is, she looks at the camera. Here's a couple of pictures. In the first one, there she is...haha...and in the second one, she took over Molly's place on the couch and just spread out!

the last few weeks....

so, where to start...I've been swamped with homework the last couple of weeks, but somehow I've gotten it all done! it's actually been pretty amazing how productive my attempts at productivity have been (don't worry if that didn't make any sense...I knew what I was talking about and it makes sense if you think like I do). anyways, I've been working on all sorts of education type endeavors...making content outlines and other such stuff...my first lesson plan should be due this week. my unit is on plate tectonics and I've decided to go with the third lesson out of 5 (convergent boundaries). it should be good, but I'm kind of nervous about getting it done on time and then presenting it in class. (who knows when that will be except it's not this week or next week) so, in other classes, I had a field trip all last weekend...in Kentucky...collecting fossils...yes, I know, I am sooo cool. it was fun, despite the pouring rain and flash flooding...and the wet tents...oh, yes, we slept in tents and they did leak. not terrible, though, just a bit damp. suffice it to say, I had fun but I didn't get enough sleep for about 2 weeks straight due to a lack of conducive environment on the weekend between the two weeks. this weekend, though, I got probably in excess of 20 hours sleep between Friday and Saturday nights combined. it was awesome. and the puppy. she's pretty cute. and she bugs the living daylights out of Molly, our 2 year old puppy. but Molly is being a good sport about it and Maxie will hopefully learn about personal space and hygenic space soon. and I can't find my camera cord or I'd put some pics from the weekend on here, but some that my mom and dad sent me will have to do...here is Maxie sleeping on my dad's arm. she is very cute and a bit "ferocious"...as in she is a very vocal little thing.

some confusion. God is leading me. hoping for His direction soon.

content outline

lesson plans are interesting. the content outline is kind of intense. who knew there was so much prep time...how illuminating. so, anyone want to know about plate tectonics? I'm gonna have a week's worth of lessons out of this semester. and they're on plate tectonics. I'm glad I like plate tectonics...granted, I did pick the topic, but still. it's not so bad, I guess, but the first draft is due Wednesday at 4:30 (?). plus my backward design unit plan. I have to write understand, know, and do statements. understand statements are actually pretty hard to write...they have to be just vague enough but have to have some details about applicability. so you come up with the lesson goals before writing the lesson...too bad I didn't do that. I wonder how that's going to work out. anywho. I should get back to work...

today was pretty great. I loved hanging out with the freshmen and (some) sophomores while waiting for the vans to arrive. there are so many people coming out! Aletheia was awesome this morning! Chelsea wrote an amazing song that we got to sing - it was beautiful. and I got to hang out with friends for awhile after church. went to lunch with a few pretty spectacular people. for about 2 and half hours...hahaha. then, of course, I had to work on homework...yippee...hahaha. yep, it was pretty thrilling. then, a Target run with my roomie. played some games, watch a movie, more homework, more distractions.

you know, distractions are such a big part of today's society. I allow myself to get distracted way too often. it's actually really annoying, because I realize that I should be doing something else (like right now) but I decide that this is better. simply because I like it. I should be working on more homework now. I also have had to put away laundry for the last 4 days, I think. I'm hoping I either do that tonight (as another form of procrastination) or tomorrow, simply because it needs to be done.

what's your biggest form of distraction?

normally, you wouldn't think crying is good. but it can definitely be good for you. it gives an outlet for the pain you're feeling. it connects you to how you're really doing. it facilitates the action of crying out to God. the reasons aren't usually good, but things can get better because of it.

now, the kind of crying that is actually fun...that's the happy crying. personally, I can get teary-eyed during inspirational movies. underdog stories. happy endings. books where something works out in the end. oh, the best are the true stories, like Chicken Soup for the Soul, where that really awesome or happy thing happens and you have the extra special feeling of knowing it's true, too!

so let it out, cry sometime. God is there and that's really all you could ask for. granted, friends will usually be there, too, but God is always available and always cares!

Tuesday and some random thoughts

Class this morning was pretty cool. It was my strange class, but my professor was talking about Richard Dawkins (look him up if you don't know anything about him - he is crazy) and he was saying that he really doesn't like him. We were talking about fundamentalism so my professor doesn't like him because he's a fundamentalist. The thing is, fundamentalists are said to have a belief system that sticks to basic principles because they are AFRAID of something! So my thought was...Richard Dawkins is a fundamentalist atheist because he's afraid of God! That might not be what he says, but he does claim at some point to be a fundamentalist so he's basically admitting to it indirectly! Hahaha.

I have class now. But I had to write this before I forgot.

the weekend.

this weekend was pretty awesome! I went home and got a chance to catch up on all the sleep I missed this last week...less than 5 hours of sleep 2 nights in a row is no fun....PLUS I just generally hung out (meaning, I didn't do anything of importance but that was just fine for me) and spent time with my mom and dad and puppy dog Molly. I went to my church at home...Hope...this morning and got to see some of my friends that I met over the summer. and the worship band, though slower and not as loud as Aletheia, was still rockin' it out. and the question of the week was about eternity and what that would be like. the pastor's information on the subject should have laid those hearts to rest. I mean, we know, according to the Bible, that heaven is WAY better than it is here...I can't even begin to imagine. well, now that I'm back at school, I should work on the last of my homework for the week.

my new class assignment.

So, my class...the most I don't even know how to describe it class I have ever had: history and philosophy of the geosciences. What is a myth? apparently, it's deep and intense. who knew? the things these people came up with...explanations for the seasons that involve goddesses dying and being stuck on spikes then, get this, being RESCUED by the other gods and goddesses. she's apparently just fine besides being evil, of course. and there is more to the story...look up Anat. so weird...

then, in paleo...learning about different kinds of coral and how their spicules are shaped...actually, those are the sponges aren't they...we talked about sponges and coral yesterday...oh, and jellyfish, which are apparently in the same phylum as coral...coral are at the juvenile stage...the polyp stage....for most of their lives while jellyfish are in the adult stage for most of their lives....I didn't know corals could be like jellyfish???

anywho...on to more pleasant things...like the first Aletheia Midday!!! and the first Aletheia Wednesday!!!! very exciting! Matt Light did an awesome job talking about the first part of John 3, Cam did great leading worship...despite being sick - poor Cam...there was just some amazing stuff...the place wasn't packed like a Sunday, but it was packed for a Wednesday - especially the first one of the semester!! so, I had a great time...still get nervous every time I do the powerpoint...and I get to make it for Wednesdays this year...but it worked out just fine! :)

I have loads of homework to do. am I doing it? obviously not. I'm thinking about it, though. that's something, right? sure it is.

and here's a poem I wrote a couple of weeks ago. it really says how I was feeling then and what I'm feeling right now.

I look to the heavens
I cannot see God
but He sees me
He is always watching

The comfort of the King
is all encompassing
the blessings He does bring
are more than I'm deserving

I reach out in praise
I do not feel God's touch
but He feels me
my praise is a touch

The comfort of the King
is all encompassing
the blessings He does bring
are more than I'm deserving

I cry out to my God
I do not always hear Him
but He hears me
and He always answers

The comfort of the King
is all encompassing
the blessings He does bring
are more than I'm deserving

and just a few more thoughts:
God really is truly beyond amazing! Just thinking about the support system He has set me up with is so cool. I have loving friends and family who listen to me, teach me, advise me, and just are there for me all the time. I don't deserve all these wonderful people in my life or my awesome God. But He didn't care, or rather, He cared so much about my undeserving state that He formulated a way for me to come to Him despite my unworthiness.
I've really been seeing God in my life so much lately; no matter what has happened, the next instant, I know God is there. There have been clear moments, just seconds after I have an issue or even a cool thing happen, where I am instantly reminded of God's hand in things through a song or a billboard (it has happened) or a friend. It's awesome and amazing.

soooooo tired.......and so glad I don't have class tomorrow. The first Midday and Wednesday Night!!! of the year! so excited...but needing to go to bed. homework that I did today...virtually nonexistent. I feel bad about that. but tomorrow should be better. going to bed now.

Labor Day Puzzler....

So...Labor Day...a federal and state GOVERNMENT holiday....and JMU...a state university...holds classes. I'm not sure what's up with this.....

Other than that, it was a normal Monday. Class from 9:05-3:10 then again from 5:30-7. Then lots of homework...I was going to do more. I only got stuff for two classes done. Still have education homework to do. At least it's not due till next Monday. I wanted to do it today, though. I feel like a slacker. It will get better. As my dad likes to say, "every day in every way, I'm getting better and better." I'm not sure what it's from (or who) but it applies. Life skills (which were discussed in some detail today) are learned throughout our lives as we go through different experiences. This includes homework and work ethic...I actually had those skills at one point...college ruined me! Hahaha. No, it's not as bad as all that, but it's a lot easier to do something else.

Despite the length of the day, I was remarkably awake and alert throughout. (Generally by the middle of the class that ends at 3:10, I am trying not to fall asleep.) God really got me through the day despite a lack of desire to be there (not a good attitude to have, but that's the way it was) and an inadequate amount of food throughout...lunch was next to nonexistent. I wasn't hungry till I got home! Yay! Go me!

About to read some education info and my book on ADHD. It should be good.

Oh, so totally beyond excited to start planning my content outline and model lesson. I'm thinking of volcanoes or the rock cycle for it. Probably volcanoes as that was my first idea. Very fun topic. The V.S.O.L.s are a lot less in-depth than my classes...hmmm...I wonder why that is....

TTFN...ta-ta for now

God bless your week!

the last two weeks....

So the last two weeks have been incredibly busy. But they have been awesome. Although, the "i" on my keyboard has finally given up...here's the story...last year, some books fell off my shelf (I was rearranging and there weren't enough there to stand up straight) right onto my hands and therefore, my computer keyboard. Luckily, my computer was alright, except for one, well two minor details: my "i" key and my "k" key popped off. If you didn't already know this, there are these little button looking things underneath the keys themselves and that's what makes the letter get typed in. You can still hit those, it just takes a little practice...needless to say, I got very good at it! Well, yesterday, the little button thing for my "i" came off, too. Yay. I'm ecstatic. I now have to hit the very middle of the empty space where my key used to be. Makes it difficult to type many words.

Anyways, moving on to other things...I have discovered that 7 and a half hours of class in one day makes for a rather long day, BUT it is so totally doable! My first Monday was pretty rough, but last Monday, I was even able to do homework between and after my classes! God gave me some major endurance! WOW! I couldn't ever have imagined how awesome it felt to realize how productive I had been! Mondays also put an incredibly positive light on the rest of the week: it can only get better from here! :)

I am really looking forward to this Wednesday. It marks the beginning of this semester's Aletheia Midday and Aletheia's Wednesday Night Service. I am so ready for that!

This morning was awesome! So many new people. So many old friends. So much praise. So spectacular is our God.

And that's about all I have. Have a terrific week and God bless!

class tomorrow....

Six hours on Mondays is going to get old pretty quickly I think. I'm not sure it would be a such a big deal if it wasn't only two classes! Ahh! The pain of it!

Anyways....on to happier things...

Aletheia was AWESOME this morning!! I had missed it so much! I love Hope, but it's not quite as energetic/dynamic (I'm not sure that's the word I'm looking for) as Aletheia! SO anywho...it was tremendously amazing and pretty much beyond spectactular! :) To say the least, I loved it!

By the way, I like relaxing days so much! And today was my last truly relaxing day for awhile...I'd say it was probably a pretty good send-off.

I just realized something....

I feel like a lot of the stuff I have written about, want to write about, or just want to type in here (as in it's already written) are really deep stuff. I don't think I normally think like that. It's very strange....

Anyways, here's some not so deep stuff (hopefully). So I just got back to Harrisonburg on Thursday. I was so excited to see my roommates and I'm almost ready to start classes. I'm hoping they're good. And I'm finding myself wondering about some of my professors, but the way that education classes are set up means it's a lot harder to choose professors who are reported to be good. I know my geology classes are gonna be good...at least, the professors are cool and so the classes should be relatively good.

The past few days have been really awesome! Well, Thursday I moved back in, Friday I got to help at Aletheia for the first time in 2 months so that was thrilling and then, one of my roomies brought her mom's ice cream maker to school with her so we made cookies and cream ice cream....6 quarts of it! That's a lot of ice cream! Then, today, I helped with some more Aletheia stuff...so fun! I missed it all summer! And lunch with friends...Chili's has some amazing food! Wow! I haven't eaten that much in a long time! And I actually got some general relaxing time too! Cool beans. Oh, and my room is finally organized all neat and pretty and absolutely everything (EVERYTHING) is put away for the first time I think since I moved in last year. Hahaha. So anywho, that's that. My last three days in a paragraph. (Reminds me of the classic english assignment, What I did This Summer)

There, that wasn't so bad...no deep stuff and informative, too! Go me.

how cool is this???

So last week, I was so mad at a couple of people that I probably wouldn't have been able to speak to them. So upset I was almost crying...have you ever cried from anger...not a good thing! I mean, my mom is one of the gentlest, sweetest people you could meet and there are some people who don't appreciate the level of help that she gives out. I really had to confess that, and as I was, my iPod switched over to Beautiful One by Jeremy Camp. All I could think was, perfect timing God!! Wow! So awesome! It was such an amazing reminder! He conquers all and someday, everyone will be judged - it isn't my job or my right. And I am so thankful for that! And, in part due to the timing of that song, I have already forgiven them and moved on.

Please pray for these people...anonimity is intentional...just pray. Thanks.

poem....

In This Moment

In this moment
I feel the majesty of my God
He is strong and He is able
He is with me
in this moment

In this moment
I feel the love of my God
He is good and He is loving
He is adoring me
in this moment

In this moment
I feel the grace of my God
He is great and He is splendid
He is saving me
in this moment

In this moment
I feel the power of my God
as I stand awestruck in His presence
He is helping me
in this moment

The Lord my God
He lives in me
He has plans for me
in this moment
in every moment.

Oh, and by the way, I complain too much......

Seriously. I complain all the time. Maybe you notice, maybe you don't. But God certainly does! A lot of times I don't even realize that my thoughts are in the form of complaints. When I do realize it, I think, that's annoying. I complain too much. And there you have it, complaint 40 billion and one. I know God cares about it all, but I often wonder how else to formulate my thoughts (and even spoken stuff, too!).....

So here's a list I made for myself.......
1.) when I start thinking about something that I don't have...solution: count my blessings (classic)
2.) just general thankfulness applied in my life
3.) make the conscious decision to pray about whatever is bothering me...just thinking about it isn't solving anything
4.) READ MY BIBLE (wow! shocker! I know!) you'd be surprised how long it sometimes takes me to realize that's what I need in that moment
5.) listen to worship music
6.) go for a run
7.) just be quiet somewhere...just BE

well, here we go...

I was just writing stuff a couple of days ago and this just poured out...it was going to be all of a paragraph or two and just look what happened......



God is so amazing! He provides for us even when we don't think of Him. The kind of love that is that vast is incomprehensible to a lowly human like myself. I have seen so many things in my life that point to His love and majesty. Awe-inspiring sunsets, huge mountains that seem so big as if they could take over the sky, tiny animals and plants that are perfection in every leaf and whisker, the kindness and even cruelty of human beings. While human cruelty may not seem a blessing, for me it serves to demonstrate the imperfection of the human race and highlights that much more the beauty of the world and in the other people around me. For example, people often belittle, pity, and stare at differences. One way I have personally seen this happen is to mentally handicapped adults. Yes, they act, talk, or walk differently from "normal" people, but then, what is normal? These so-called mentally incompetent human beings are often purer-minded and sweeter-natured than those "normal" humans. I have seen first hand the desire to sing a song learned years ago at church camp (they have minds, too, you know), the wish to just hold a hand, or the simple desire to be loved. What if they do seem to have the attention span of a child? They concentrate on the now! What I could learn from following that example! I know I get distracted easily! I lose focus in the midst of homework, class, even prayer sometimes; I start thinking or praying about something else. What if I applied the same single-mindedness that these individuals have to my every day life? Maybe I would focus more on the conversations with God, family, and friends. Maybe I would finish homework faster and have time for the other things I was thinking about.
Now, I'm not saying multi-tasking is bad, but when so-called multi-tasking comes into play and it takes away from the overall goal, that's when I need to cut it out. And would you look at that, I got off-topic a bit, but stream-of-consciousness really works sometimes.
Back to the original idea - God's awesomeness - His blessings - some, like those handicapped individuals, in disguise - all serve to give us a glimpse of His beauty and goodness. For me, if that means learning a lesson about how to praise Him from watching how others react to every day life, I count that as a lesson worth learning!
He has blessed me so much and I realize I don't thank Him enough for that. He really is amazing and He loves me. Me. It is humbling and the biggest, best present I could ever hope to receive.